Thursday, December 01, 2005

Why I haven't posted in over a week.

I freaking HATE Colorado.

Or at least Denver. But I'm willing to spread the hate around to the full state.

Sunday afternoon we left my in-laws' place (near Grand Junction, on the west side of the state) heading for home (Kansas City). After about 3 1/2 hours or so, we pull into Denver, where they had closed I-70 eastbound -- all the way to Kansas. Some crap about high winds and blizzard-like conditions. It's about 6 PM so we eat dinner, but the freeway still isn't open, so we get a room for the night.

Monday we get up and put up with a 2-yr-old and a 5-yr-old in the cramped confines of a motel room until around noon. Then we try to go to the local public library to read some stories and stuff -- but of course the library in that neighborhood is closed on Mondays. So we go to the mall and let the kids run around the play area for an hour or so. We spend another hour-and-a-half at McDonald's, and by around 4 PM they still haven't opened the road, so we get another motel room.

About an hour or two later, my son (5) starts puking. At least he's old enough to head to the toilet on his own now. We put him to bed with some cartoons on, and put the girl (2) in the bath. Cue a bathtub full of puke. Greasy, slimy, Slim-Jim-laden puke. Rinse, put her to bed, and repeat. With both of them.

Then, sometime after the middle of the night, I decide to join the party. But I add a new twist to the dance. My previous day's meals are coming out liquefied not just from one orifice, but from two.

Tuesday, I spend the day in bed. Regardless of the fact that the bloody roads are finally open, I can't move. I have a fever most of the day, and when it finally breaks it's too late to go anywhere. I'm too worn out anyway. So we stay another night and leave Wednesday morning.

We get home Wednedsay night (last night) around 8:30 and fall into bed. Sometime in the middle of the night, my wife starts puking. I wake up this morning (Thursday) in no shape to go to work -- I can barely walk a straight line, I'm so exhausted. So I give the kids something to eat and something to watch on TV, and fall back into bed.

I tell you, if this is how trips to Colorado turn out, I'm never setting foot in that state again.


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